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Pep Talk or Head Trash

What do you say to yourself? Do you build yourself up or tear yourself down? If your answer is, “Well, I’ve never thought about it,” then think about it now.

Examine what your thoughts have been like for the past month. First, look at the attitude you have had toward your actions. If your choo-choo brain has said “I think I can,” then you’ve been cheering yourself on through the best or worst of times. This type of silent talk will propel and sustain healthy actions. It will lead to improved self-care and you will attract healthier people (“like attracts like”).

If you’re making poor toxic choices then your brain is saying , “I think I can’t.” Indications that you’re in this frame of mind are panic, worry, fear and physical pain. You just won’t feel right. You’ll feel off and unsure of yourself.

Are you picking on yourself like a bully? When you do this you are ignoring all your best qualities, all your attributes. You become blind to your beauty. You are so locked in on the parts of yourself that are not perfect and trying to force them to be something that they’re not.

Perfection is something you do not want to be smothered with. You want to keep the door open to accepting your imperfections, accepting your humanity. Otherwise you will always be fighting to live up to a standard that is not realistic, and you will invariably beat the shit out of yourself, and you won’t be able to stop.

When you’re stuck in the cement of perfectionism, you think in terms of black and white, all or nothing. There is no grey area at all. It is about you being perfect and if you’re not perfect, then you reject yourself. This is distorted thinking. The negativity will get you nowhere but down.

Now, if you want to turn it around, you will have to break the shell of perfectionism. You’ll have to begin to love the parts of yourself that you once rejected. Think of your best friend. Look at all of his/her imperfections and pick one out that you love. Why do you love it? Does it make her unique? Is it an endearing quality of his? A hidden strength?

When I used to go for a walk around a park near my work, I would pay particular attention to the trees. My favorite tree was an oversized pine that was lopsided and bare in spots. I really loved this tree in all its imperfect glory. My gut reminded me that the most interested and loveable characters in the movies are the ones that have character flaws, in other words, ones we can relate to.

We loved Forest Gump not because he was perfect, but because he was imperfect.

So, embrace your imperfections. Just be yourself. Don’t try and contort yourself into some perfect package of fakeness. It will make you sick and also those around you. Just be yourself. Accept your imperfections but always work on yourself. Learn about yourself. Don’t forget this ongoing education with yourself and the universe. If you keep your eyes peeled and your heart open you will be a student of positive life, and you will grow beyond your wildest dreams.

So what quality do you want your life to have: positive acceptance and learning and growing how to be more yourself and be comfortable in your own skin? Or do you want to turn and twist yourself into a punishing boxing match with yourself in one corner and perfectionism in the other? The choice is yours, and the great news, wherever you’re at, is that you can switch it at any time.

So, what will it be?


About Lisa Jo Barr

I am a Social Media Director and freelance writer. My articles and columns have been published in newspapers and magazines worldwide. I've done copywriting and technical writing. Poetry and personal essays. Et cetera. I am a lover of art. I am a very visual person and love to do collage art. I love art in all mediums and have created a virtual art gallery on Twitter ( @ABCcustomframe ). Swimming, volunteering, meditating, traveling, dancing, I love the art of conversation. The art of creative writing. The art of storytelling. The art of leadership. Great customer service. Great theatre. Great people. I dig these. I love to have fun, to laugh, to inspire. Life is an adventure. Love conquers all. Be who you are.

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